32 Years ago in the Air Force
The night before, my stepfather’s business partner opened a bar and I was invited to the opening. To make matters worse, I was the recipient of nearly every possible free drink. I was the guy joining the Air Force the next morning, everyone wanted to buy me a drink.
Though I have no recollection of it, my mother and/or stepfather saw to it that I got inside the Air Force recruiter’s vehicle the next morning with my bag packed at about 5:45 am. I do remember waking up late morning (10:00 or 11:00 am) realizing I was standing in line for a physical fitness test at the AAFES processing center (Army Air Force Enlistment Service) in downtown Newark, New Jersey.
We were sent to Newark Airport in a group of four, I was handed everyone’s files (found out later that meant I was in charge). We arrived at the Dallas Fort Worth Airport late Friday afternoon September 21, 1979. One of our four panicked when he saw all of the men in military uniform, excused himself and came back from the bathroom seriously nervous. I asked him what he was worried about. It was seeing the uniforms that caused him to remember all of the pot he had on him and other paraphernalia. He wanted to know if I thought it might be a problem. After answering yes, we never saw him again; I hope he’s well!
The three of us boarded a bus at DFW airport that drove all the way to Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. The active duty Air Force guy on the bus was nice, or at least he was not mean. He told us we were going to be rainbows all weekend long; whatever that meant. He tried to explain to us that since it was Friday night, the barber shop would be closed, and the Air Force uniform issuing department would be closed all weekend long as well.
Wow, we could be enlisted active duty men in civilian clothes and with long hair and beards for the weekend, how cool! NOT! All weekend long, every squadron of Basic Trainee Airman would sing in cadence:
Rainbow, Rainbow,
Don’t be blue,
Our recruiter screwed us too!
The first night we had a briefing. The Air Force through it’s wonderful TI’s (Training Instructors) let us know what was and wasn’t allowed, expectations, realities, etc. They described what was legal and illegal. The TI proceeded to leave the room with an amnesty box and a one-way funnel that we could deposit any illegal or inappropriate material that the Air Force did not want us to have. When he came back, he would be inspecting our bags for illegal materials.
It was to my horror that, when I opened up my suitcase, I found my mother had been up to one of her special tricks (remember I was not sober until the midst of a physical, had no idea who packed my bags or what was in them). Mom had put a teddy bear in my suitcase! To make matters worse the suitcase was bigger than the amnesty box, though I tried to make it fit with 49 other guys watching, and laughing, some almost to the point of tears.
Monday morning came and were we glad to get uniforms and haircuts. Haircuts were first, we were sorted (basically) in order of height, I was near the front. The barber asked for a volunteer to demonstrate an Air Force hair cut, I later learned that volunteering was best left for the TI to do as his or her own will and pace.
Everyone watched as I jumped on the seat and in a southern Texas drawl that made it almost impossible for a guy from New Jersey to understand, the barber asked if I wanted my sideburns and I answered sure (and was reprimanded as the only appropriate answers were yes sir or no sir). He proceeded to cut off my sideburns, put them in a plastic bag and advised me to mail them home to my Momma.
Enough of memory lane. It is hard to believe that was 32 years ago when I was 18. I have learned not to be the first to volunteer.
The fact is the Air Force was one of the best things to happen to me. It was there that I came to faith in Jesus, met my wife of 28 years and so much more…
Leave request
I thought you like some good ole Indian English - these were found on leave request slips!
The Leave Applications
· Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."
·
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
· Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
· From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
· An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
· A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
· Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
· Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
· Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
· Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
· Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
· A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
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Free Parking at Kansas City Airport
They will give you a free days parking (worth $7) and I get points. Since you can only email the coupon to be valid, I could not post it below, so I only put the information on the place.
They are awesome, fast, I have used them for two years now, love it!
